El Roi : The God Who Sees


    "She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: 'You are the God who sees me,' for she said, 'I have now seen the One who sees me.'"  Genesis 16:13

    I was recently attacked for my faith.  It came from a friend with whom I had shared the gospel.  We had known each other for 15 years.  I was surprised to have it so harshly displayed by someone whom I called a friend.

    I chose to pray harder in the beginning...confident that my prayers would be answered.  But then my praying ceased and gave way to hurt.  To everyone I appeared to be strong and at peace with what I had done, and with his reaction.  But in my heart, I was very confused and devastated.  For you see, according to most, emotional health is when you can let something go and move on.  Mental health, as defined by the Surgeon General's Report on Mental Health, "refers to the successful performance of mental function, resulting in productive activities, fulfilling relationships with other people, and the ability to adapt to change and cope with adversity."  Well, it appeared I was not quite sound, mentally.  So I pretended that it was gone, and was now God's...I pretended to cope well with this adversity.

    But God saw.  He knew that I thought about it all day long.  He knew that it would come up and knock the breath out of me periodically.  He knew that I was in a battle for my heart.  He saw.

    For you see, the Lord sees our despair.  He knows every thought that enters our mind.  He is aware of the charade we pull with others, but we don't fool Him.  He sees...whether we want Him to or not.

    Because the Lord saw the depth of my dejection, He chose to wrap me in His love.  He sent a stranger to comfort me; He surrounded me with support and love.  He put me in the cleft of the rock and hid me there...away from all harm.

    I have had to give my friend another name in my prayers because his name makes me hurt all over again.  I would like to be able to tell you that El Roi has taken away my hurt, but it is still with me.  Perhaps the lesson in this is not that I am to forget, but to remember how the Lord saw.  And met my needs before I even asked Him.

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